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Chimney & Fireplace

Getting down chimneys.

Anonymous user 28 February 2024 - 2.45 PM

Hello builders, With christmas being less than a week away now, I'm becoming very worried about getting down chimneys. I had a dummy run the other night and the uk seems my biggest concern with all these new build houses that have them fake plastic chimneys on them... how am i going to get in and drop off presents? It is also becoming a big struggle to squeeze down some real chimneys now-a-days... Please could you make sure the mince pies you leave me are lower in fat? Finally, please builders could you choose smaller power tools when you write out you xmas lists, rudolf don't seem to stop moaning how heavy they are!! Must dash now, Have a wonderfull christmas...

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1 Answer

Anonymous user

Hello Father Christmas, Glad I caught you on this site, you little toe rag... For the last 20 years, you’ve ignored my Christmas lists even though I sent them recorded delivery.... I have never asked for tools, (if you had bothered to read them) so tell Rudolf not to worry... I would like a tall, slim young blonde model that has a personality. She needs to earn enough to support the both of us. Ideally she would have her own country estate mansion in Hampshire/Surrey, a spare Ferrari, a yacht and a couple of polo ponies kicking around in the background... I've had enough of all the saw dust, muck and bullet's and feel it's time I retired... Merry Christmas to you and mother Christmas... if you are married? Many thanks Mark P.s Don't bother struggling up on the roof and dropping my present down the chimney... Just knock on the door quietly, wouldn't want to wake the misses would we?

Answered21 December 2011