Well, there is a loo in my bathroom, but that’s about it. The rest resembles a building site and has done for the past year following a rogue fitter dropping sticks at this point in the renovation process. Bits of plaster are falling off the walls, the floor has trenches in it and is uneven with exposed pipes that I trip over in the night, rubble is piled up at the edges, mould has settled around the window, and broken tiles litter the place. It is truly horrendous! Oh how I long for the luxury of my own shower instead of having to ask the neighbours politely or drive a 20 mile round trip to the nearest leisure centre. Now I’ve got a hot date, it would mean the world to me not to turn up stinky!